What If I Can Not Afford The Dowry Price, Do I Break Up With My Love?

In the modern world, paying your dowry actually does not mean that you are married. Once you pay your dowry, you are than expected to have a “white wedding”—which can be quite costly (already in debt). If the people (modern day elders) know this fact to be true, why do they continue to encourage it? Ideologies, greed?

A human being cannot and should not be priced, yet parents/relatives are so hooked and focused on bridal price. Dear reader, a price is from the supply and demand business model—a price therefore makes a woman a commodity. Parents/relatives should be very happy when their daughters or sons freely fall in love with someone whom they know is suitable and compatible with them. Hence, instead of focusing on the dowry and bridal price, focus on what the man has to offer the family as means of appreciation. Appreciation makes the women priceless and a valued human being created by God and unique to God.

The dowry system today has become a huge priority that the men are not even considered during the process—they are only expected to write that cheque.

Cultures change right? well if a culture does not change, than I would appreciate this dowry culture to changed—young people can not simply cope with stress that can easily be illuminated. Hence, if the dowry culture does not change, than a refund policy should be implemented to ensure the person has not been robbed. Taking this into consideration, divorce rates globally continue to spike, this refund policy is necessary, otherwise this dowry system is just as foolish as this refund policy may sound.

I am not asking people to leave their identity behind, culture is very important as it gives ones identity. However, modifications are required— breaking up with someone you love should not be an option because of a system (dowry) that has lost its intended meaning in this modern world.

Relationships/Marriage is a beautiful thing—it is something everyone should be able to freely experience and enjoy. It is time for families to use the dowry system as means to express appreciation (original intention), instead of it being used for transactional purposes.

Overall to answer the question, “do I break up with the one I love if I cannot afford dowry”? I would say yes to that on the grounds that the dowry price is higher than $20,000. Some of you may be thinking $20,000 is still a lot of money, yes, I agree, but if you must know that price has become the norm for the Sudanese people (I know some people are due to pay even more than $50,000).

If you totally agree that $20,000 is too much, than I suggest you break up with your girl as you will not get very far in your relationship without dowry settlement.

I know love makes individuals do ridiculous things so best of luck with your decision!!

Kind regards

Kodi. D

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9 thoughts on “What If I Can Not Afford The Dowry Price, Do I Break Up With My Love?

  1. “I am not asking people to leave their identity behind, culture is very important as it gives one’s identity. However, modifications are required— breaking up with someone you love should not be an option because of a system (dowry) that has lost its intended meaning in this modern world.”

    Dowry tradition within the Sudanese community is getting out of control. You mentioned original intentions for Dowry payments were out of respect and appreciation for two families uniting has one. Today Dowry payments have become a means of financial gain. I believe the reason for that is poverty and the effects of civil war; as a result, has tainted pure traditional practices that were done out of honour and respect to greed and complete ignorance. It’s evident that some cultural traditions sometimes call for change especially within the 21st century, South Sudanese parents and elders need to reconsider modifying this traditional custom that’s doing more damage than good.

    I really appreciate that there’s someone other than myself asking the same questions concerning some of South Sudanese traditional customs, that are in conflict with modern society. Especially for individuals who have grown up between two conflicting cultures (western Australians and traditional South Sudanese). It will be interesting to see what you come up with as you progress in your blogs.

    keep writing, I always enjoy reading your post.

    keep posting you got a reader…

    Like

    • Achol thank you for your comment.
      We as Sudanese youth truely know now what we’re up against.

      Changes are needed, otherwise people are just gonna stop trying to get married the right way.
      Literally was talking to a VERY close friend of mine today and his getting charged $100,000 😂😂😂😂🤭

      Like

  2. Wow very interesting piece to read, perfectly written. I cannot wait to have you as a guest in FRC and dicsuss this piece. The other side to the coin is if a man impregnated a lady most families will be willing to accept whatever because otherwise the two don’t care. Also many kids born in the way will for sure challenge this dowry process………

    Like

    • Vickie thanks for you comment. I would love to join you on FRC one day!

      This discussion doesn’t end easily, there always other things on top of it. But will discuss on the show by God’s grace soon!!

      Like

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